So the 8:30 a.m. Community Meeting was nothing I expected.
First off, the two haters detailed in the last post (Lover Boy’s girlfriend and Miss Bipolar), were both in attendance. Lo and behold, both were back to normal with me. In fact, Miss Bipolar greeted me and sat right next to me. Girlfriend greeted me, sat a few seats away, and addressed me in a friendly manner a couple times during the meeting.
Now I KNOW I did not imagine the shade I’d gotten from both over the last few weeks when I appeared in a room or spoke or smiled or waived, so I can only assume they’d gotten over whatever grievances they’d manufactured, or it was an issue of being off and now back on medication.
At any rate, the meeting was to suggest residents might think of beginning a Community Watch Program because 1) Someone is walking their animal surreptitiously and not scooping the poop, resulting in droppings all over the complex. Though it’s assumed the culprit is doing so very late at night or very early in the morning when no one is around to observe, residents were asked to try to keep an eye out so the individual can be caught and given the choice to get rid of the pet or face eviction. If the culprit cannot be found, there is a strong likelihood, should the activity continue, pets will be banned from the premises altogether; 2) Young men from the neighboring complex are jumping the fence late at night or very early in the morning, breaking into and stealing cars.
A Community Watch program is a good idea, except the hours the crimes are being committed are hours we’re all fast asleep. I can’t phantom anyone volunteering to set an alarm to walk the premises after dark because of coyotes, skunks and raccoons coming down from the hillside, so we’ll just have to hope for the best that our cars are not targeted and someone lucks up on catching the non-scooper; 3) The no smoking ban is being violated. Residents were asked to drop an anonymous note to management on the violators.
I’ve repeatedly smelled the odor of a pipe coming from one of the enclosed parking garages when out walking. I have no intention of turning in the perpetrator, but I’m sure someone else knows and will do so. Other residents mentioned smoking going on behind the garages, and are worried that the brush on the hillside will catch fire … again, from the cigarette butts being discarded on the ground (as there was a fire a few years ago which required evacuation).
I remember that fire on what is called “Little Mountain.” I wasn’t living here, but my daughter lives in the complex next door to the senior complex and her complex was also required to evacuate.
Another topic discussed was “Senior Bullying”.
It occurs to me that I’ve been naive and living in la la land, because I had no idea about climbing the hillside to jump the fence, break into and steal cars, nor the issue of senior bullying going on here, or anywhere, but the moderator indicated it was a HUGE issue here.
I would have liked to have known the specific instances, but she didn’t disclose specifics, for issues of privacy – other than to say it was pure junior high school that one resident egged another’s unit … and that if someone is chasing you with a stick (evidently that did happen) do not call management, call 911 … and to say bullying will not be tolerated and the bully will be immediately evicted.
Which might account for why so many move-outs this month. I see people move in, next thing I know they’re moving out so quickly that I’ve been viewing the complex more as a hotel, rather than a permanent residence. I thought the rash of move outs was because a brand new senior complex opened up in the area and those who don’t like this management group had jumped ship. That may well be, but sounds like some of those move outs were evictions.
And yes, she did say a resident had egged another’s unit. ROFLMAO!
I can’t let that one go. I simply must know more. The Community Breakfast is Saturday, and I’m going to do my level best to find out what the egging was about – who, what, when, where, why AND dig for specifics on who’s been bullying who.
In the interim, I Googled “senior bullying”:
“The causes of bullying vary. Dementia can sometimes be the cause of violence since someone with dementia may wrongly perceive things as threatening so they resort to a more primitive response. Alternatively, a person with dementia can be the victim who is picked on. Bullying can also be a result of the human phenomenon of the strong picking on the weak, and not a function of aging at all. Alternatively, some people don’t adjust well to aging and can become disruptive and abusive, pushing others away from group activities, social gatherings or meal time. Bullying impacts both the victim and the bystanders. The impact for the victim can be cognitive, physical, psychological and physical. Take the case of Mary, who had never experienced bullying until she moved in to a building for seniors. Since moving in, a number of residents who make up a ‘controlling group’ have conspired to isolate her. They’ve spread false rumors, including one that she’d been evicted from her previous home. As a result, she curtails her activity in the building, avoids the laundry room if others are present and stays out of the recreation room. She’s been having a hard time sleeping and is often fatigued. She says, ‘It’s hard because I’ve never had to deal with it before. It would be easier to take if there was any truth to it.’ For bystanders, bullying creates a toxic environment of fear and mistrust.”
It appears the golden years aren’t all that golden for some of us who either have too much idle time on their hands, ego issues or mental challenges.