REDNECK DICTIONARY

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Adenoids Space creatures wut be keepn' Elvis alive All A petroleum-based lubricant. "I sure hope my brother frum Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck." Anasthesia Rushun Princex y'all studyed in skool Antacid Haloosinagenic drugs used by littl' bugs Artery Wut the plastik Jesus on yer dashbord is Bahs A supervisor. "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!" Bard Past tense of "to borrow." "My brother bard my pickup truck." Bob War A sharp, twisted cable. "Boy, stay away frum that bob war fence." Bowel A alfebit letter, lyke A, E, I, O, U. Bronchitis Dinosore frum the plascticscent age Carpal The rank below sargent Cat Scan Lookin' fur Hookers Cauterize Makin' eye contact with a Hooker D&C Warshington - where the weerdos, purvurts and kongress peepul leeve. Also - dustin' an' cleanin Did Not alive. "He's did, Jim" Ear A colorless, odorless gas. "He can't breathe; give 'em some ear!" Enema Sumon who ain't a friend Far Flame. "If my brother frum Jawjuh don't change the all in my pickup truck, that thang's gonna catch far" Fester Yer unkle's name Farn Not local. "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be frum some farn country" Genital Head of Army G.I. Series Gomer Pyle, USMC Guff A deep chasm. "Juicy the Guff of Mexico?" Gummit Bureaucratic institution. "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!" Haze "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert" Heavy Dew A request for action. "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?" Hod Not easy. "A broken hot is hod to fix" Hot A blood-pumping organ Hypodermic Big fat zoo critter Ignert Not smart. "Them boys sure is ignert!" In A Wad Upset. Tangled up or tied up as in knots. "Calm down, Bubba. Ain't no need to git yer wrangler's in a wad" Jawjuh A highly flammable state just north of Florida. "My brother frum Jawjah bard my pickup truck" Ju-Here A question. "Juhere about that fella whut chew him up and spit out sum ears?" Juicy A question. "Oh say kin juicy by the dawns early light" Lot Luminescent. "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair" Lung Oppozit of short Markins Citizens of the United States. "My fellow Markins" Munts A calendar division. "My brother frum Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd frum him in munts" Pap Smear When peepul sez nasti thangs about yer pappy Paramour An automated device for cutting grass. "What kinda deal you gonna make me on that paramour?" Pross The value or cost of an item. "That there prom dress sho is purty, but it ain't worth the pross" Ranch A tool. "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother frum Jawjuh bard a few munts ago" Rats Entitled power or privilege. "We Southerners are willin to fight fer our rats" Recovery Whar ya' fix up yer furnitchure Rectum Wut happenz wen ya' drive yer pickup drunk Renal Wen ya' hafta pull it out an' nale it agin Retard To stop working. "My granpaw retard at age 65" Rice A contest of speed. "Y'all goin out to see tha big drag rice?" Seed "I ain't never seed New York City" Seizure Empurur of that Italyan city Squarsh A vegetable (also - to flatten). "Warsh that squarsh, Bubba ... you ain't knowed where its been!" Tar A rubber wheel. "Gee, I hope that brother of mine frum Jawjuh ain't git a flat tar in my pickup truck" Tarred Exhausted. "I just flew in, an boy my arms is tarred" Testicles Books of the Bible. (Also - myfological superhero) Tire A tall monument. "Lord willin and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sumetime" Tumor Number of beers ya' can drink after last call Urine Oppozit of "yer out" Warsh To clean Xenobiotic Life on 'nuther planet X-ray Sumon who ain't called Raymond no more Y'all A degree of rotation. "There are three degrees of Southern rotation - Pitch, Roll, and Y'all"

Online: August 18, 2003
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